In this podcast (episode #534) and blog, I talk to DryBar founder and best-selling author Alli Webb about finding joy when your life is a mess, how to find yourself again after a crisis, dealing with imposter syndrome, and so much more!
When Drybar and its world-famous blowouts took off seemingly overnight, she found herself surrounded by celebrity clients like Zooey Deschanel, Jennifer Garner, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Julia Roberts. She was named to multiple prestigious business lists, published a New York Times bestselling book—all before she turned forty.
But it wasn't until her marriage fell apart, her teenage son entered rehab unexpectedly, and she no longer found meaning in the wildly successful business she had built that Alli realized she was spiraling into deep depression. She'd lost sight of what made her happy in favor of an aimless push to succeed above all. Something had to give.
In her amazing book, The Messy Truth, Alli talks about how, piece by piece, she began to reinvent her personal and professional life with the goal of accepting her messy truth. She learned how to embrace the honest in lieu of the perfect and realized that most of life happens somewhere in the middle, between the laughter and the tears.
Life is messy—this is not something any of us can escape, even if our life looks glamorous on the outside. However, this doesn’t mean that we cannot achieve our dreams or be successful in life. As Alli notes in her book, you can be raw, real, and messy and still build a successful career and life.
The key is balance. Alli struggled to focus on her personal life while building her incredibly successful company, which impacted her mental and physical wellbeing. It is easy to get “tunnel vision”, and get caught up in what we are doing that we are not emotionally happy or satisfied. Indeed, it is easy to constantly be looking ahead or for the next thing, never realizing that we are living life in “distraction mode” rather than focusing on what will make us happy mentally, emotionally and physically.
Part of this process is realizing that life is a journey. There is no “it” destination. Life is full of ups and downs, and change is inevitable. We have to learn how to manage these changes, and we do this by taking the time to see how the past and present is affecting us and how it plays out into our future. This starts with accepting that things will change one way or another, whether things are going badly or well. We are the healthiest emotionally when we are in the middle: when we don’t get so affected by the highs or life and so taken down by the lows of life.
To find this “middle”, we need to understand what the important things are. What do we need to focus on? What deserves our attention? This is where the growth process and self-regulation come in: they help us redefine who we are and who we want to be, which is intrinsic to a successful and fulfilling life instead of losing ourselves in the process of pursuing our goals.
This doesn’t mean we have to have all the answers. Going through life means being open to learning and growing, and admitting that at times we don’t know and it is okay to ask for help or advice. This means creating a healthy environment at home and in the workplace where people feel they can be open with us, and that we will listening to what they have to say and where we can do better.
For more on finding joy when life is messy, listen to my podcast with Alli (episode #534) and check out her amazing new book. If you enjoy listening to my podcast, please consider leaving a 5-star review and subscribing. And keep sharing episodes with friends and family and on social media. (Don’t forget to tag me so I can see your posts!).
This podcast is sponsored by:
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1:27 Why Alli wrote her book The Messy Truth
3:00 Alli’s incredible story
9:50 What happens when we live life in “distraction mode”
12:05 Learning to roll with life’s punches
14:40 Why we need to learn how to manage change and the “messiness” of life
19:26 The importance of constantly learning & growing
22:00 Creating a healthy work & home environment
30:00 How to find yourself again
37:20 How to be a better parent
*Please note that this episode broke off several times due to poor network connectivity. We apologize for the inconvenience!
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