How to avoid the social media perfection trap
In this podcast (episode #544) and blog, I talk about why it is okay if things are not good or happy all the time, and how our “social media” expectations can impact our mental health.
We all know instinctively that things can’t be good all the time. No one’s life is perfect, regardless of what we may see on social media or what we hear or see as we go about our lives.
Have you ever just looked at someone’s social media post or thought, why isn't this happening in my life? What am I doing wrong? Why do good things like this never happen to me? I think we are all guilty of this—I know I am! And, if we continue down this rabbit hole, we can feel worse and worse about our lives, which affects our mental health. It is important to remember that whatever we think about the most grows, and whatever we grow the most into our networks will drive us!
This is why we should all practice pausing when we feel this way and evaluating what we feel and why in the moment – before it can take root in our minds and impact our peace and wellbeing. We need to remember that things like social media are designed to hook our attention in a way that gets us to think about what we have seen all the time. If we are not careful or aware of this, we can build networks into our mind and brain that make us think that there is something wrong with our lives because we are not happy or things are not great all the time, which will impact our mental health and ability to manage the ups and downs of life.
It is unrealistic to expect that things will be good all the time or we should be happy all the time. Being human means embracing change and going through life—this is how we develop our emotional regulation skills and character. Like diamonds, we are often shaped under pressure!
Yet if we uncritically accept what we see or hear as the truth, or just go through life unaware of how our perceptions are being shaped by our environment, we can set ourselves up for failure when things go wrong or when life throws us lemons.
It is important to understand that up to 95% of what we are exposed to during the course of the day is going into the nonconscious mind. We only deliberately focus on around 5-10% of what we are exposed to at any given time. This means that we absorb a lot of “stuff”—perceptions, emotions, images and so on that we need to focus on and be aware of. We shouldn’t just let anything into our heads and in our lives! Some research even shows that our perceptions and behaviors can change in under 5 minutes of exposure to certain images or ideas!
We need to be hyper aware of how we are feeling and behaving and perceiving things as we go through life. This includes how our bodies react to what we are thinking and feeling—these are what I call “physical warning signals” that are telling us to pay attention to what we are allowing into our heads.
For more on managing this, listen to my podcast (episode #544). If you enjoy listening to my podcast, please consider leaving a 5-star review and subscribing. And keep sharing episodes with friends and family and on social media. (Don’t forget to tag me so I can see your posts!).
This podcast is sponsored by:
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Podcast Highlights
0:12 Life is not meant to be perfect
1:05 Why we feel that things need to be good all the time
8:23 Why we need to celebrate other people’s happiness
10:00 It’s normal to experience ups & downs in life!
11:09 Why we need to challenge how we think & react to what we see on social media
12:20, 18:51 The importance of examining our environment & how it affects us
This podcast and blog are for educational purposes only and are not intended as medical advice. We always encourage each person to make the decision that seems best for their situation with the guidance of a medical professional.