Nate had a very traumatic childhood and, later on in life, experienced spiritual abuse that struck at the very core of who he was and what he had gone through. Today, he has managed turn his history into an inspiring story of someone who, on his journey to find healing, helps others heal and re-process their trauma. Through his work, he creates a safe space for people to find true restoration, acceptance and community.
This, of course, was not an easy or simple process. As Nate notes, the experiences we have are built into the mind, brain and body—true healing requires addressing all these areas, which Nate has done over many years and is still in the process of doing.
Trauma is so hard to process because we are not made to process trauma. There is nothing natural about trauma, which is why, as Nate points out, it is called trauma! When we go through a traumatic experience, it alters our mind, brain and body—we walk around carrying this huge burden, just trying to do our best to find out who we are and how we find validation in a broken world. We go into a survival/coping mode, because no part of us is designed to just experience trauma. It is a pervasive thing that affects our whole life.
We often default to shame when we experience trauma because our minds cannot fathom the enormity of what just happened to us. The experience is so unnatural that our innocence makes us feel like, somehow, we must be responsible. Shame is the “aftermath” of trying to comprehend something we were never designed to comprehend.
This is why there is a certain amount of grief that comes with addressing trauma, especially when you discover that you have been fighting the wrong battle for so many years, or that you have been fighting an uphill battle against who you were and who you are. This kind of grief is a way to cleanse the soul and start dealing with your trauma. It is hard to face, but only when you acknowledge it can you start finding true and lasting freedom.
You don’t get rid of or just let go of trauma. As Nate notes, you have to let it flow through you—you need to embrace it, process it and let your grief cleanse you under the guidance of a trained and trauma-informed professional. Although this is an incredibly hard process, and will look different for everyone, it is far harder to try to suppress or avoid the pain, which will manifest in other areas of your life. If trauma is not addressed and re-processed, it becomes stagnant—it grows and poisons how you see and interact with the world.
For more information on processing and healing trauma, listen to my podcast with Nate (episode #265), follow him on social media @nate_postlethwait and check out his website. If you enjoy listening to my podcast, please consider leaving a 5-star review and subscribing. And keep sharing episodes with friends and family and on social media. (Don’t forget to tag me so I can see your posts!).
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3:08 How understanding the mind-brain connection helped Nate deal with his trauma
7:34 Why Nate became a certified wellness coach
9:40 Nate’s inspiring story
14:00 The cleansing power of grief
17:30 Why there is nothing natural about trauma
22:00 How shame is related to human innocence
24:20 Why trauma and sexuality are two very different things
27:16 How to deal with the grief of lost time
39:20 The danger of conversion therapy
45:08 How to help someone who has experienced trauma
51:32 Why agency is so important when it comes to healing
1:03:00 The power of breath work
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