Tips to improve emotional intelligence

In this podcast (episode #530) and blog, I talk about ways to improve your emotional intelligence.

People love to talk about emotional intelligence, which is actually self-regulation. This is also known as self-control or emotional regulation. It is the ability to manage your thoughts, emotions, behaviors and perspectives to achieve your goals and respond to situations in a balanced manner.

One great way to do this is using the using the Neurocycle mind management method, which I discuss in detail in my book Cleaning Up Your Mental Mess and my app Neurocycle. The Neurocycle is a way to harness your thinking power that I have developed and researched over the past three decades. It has 5 steps:  

1. Self-Awareness: The first step in improving your self-regulation is to become more aware of your emotions, thoughts, and reactions. This starts by gathering awareness of your emotions, behaviors, bodily sensations and perspective. Recognize patterns in your behavior and identify triggers that lead to impulsive or emotional responses.

2. Mindful reflection: Next, deeply analyze these things you gathered awareness of. You can combine this by practicing mindfulness techniques to stay present in the moment and observe your thoughts and emotions without judgment.

3. Write: This can help you identify patterns and areas where self-regulation is challenging. This will help organize your thinking. 

4. Recheck: Once you are aware of your reactions, work on managing them effectively. Emotional regulation involves understanding, accepting, and modulating your emotional responses. Practice doing this as you analyze what you have written down.

- Identify your triggers: Recognize the situations or circumstances that trigger strong emotional reactions. This awareness can help you prepare and respond more calmly.

- Develop coping strategies: Develop healthy coping mechanisms to deal with negative emotions. Deep breathing, meditation, physical exercise, and engaging in hobbies can help you manage emotional arousal.

5. Active reach: Self-regulation involves aligning how you show up in situations with who you want to be. Developing a plan to really try to understand how you think, feel and choose, as well as searching what you want a need as a person and embracing growth can help you stay focused and make informed decisions. Think of ways you can practice doing this daily.

Remember that improving self-regulation is an ongoing developmental process that requires practice, patience, and self-compassion and change! It's normal to experience setbacks along the way, but with consistent effort and a willingness to learn from your experiences, you can enhance your ability to regulate your emotions, thoughts, and behaviors effectively. 

For more on self-regulation, listen to my podcast (episode #530). If you enjoy listening to my podcast, please consider leaving a 5-star review and subscribing. And keep sharing episodes with friends and family and on social media. (Don’t forget to tag me so I can see your posts!).    

This podcast is sponsored by:   

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Podcast Highlights

0:20 Emotional intelligence & self-regulation 

3:27 How to develop your emotional intelligence 

11:00 How to train yourself to respond instead of just reacting

This podcast and blog are for educational purposes only and are not intended as medical advice. We always encourage each person to make the decision that seems best for their situation with the guidance of a medical professional.