Deconstructing Trauma & How to Find Healing Through Learning + How We Should Talk to Kids About Mental Health (with Lewis Howes)

In this podcast (episode #309) and blog, I speak with bestselling author, former pro athlete, lifestyle entrepreneur and host of The School of Greatness Lewis Howes about the importance of peace and clarity in life, the hard process of healing trauma, the importance of coaching and therapy, the importance of teaching children about mental health, and so much more!

As a young child, Lewis found his emotions challenging to deal with, and he used sports as a way to manage how he felt. He learnt about consistency, discipline, working with a team, overcoming losses and more. Yet, he felt something was still missing. Although school teaches children a lot of important skills, it doesn’t general teach children the skills of life—the things that are often the hardest to understand, like dealing with embarrassment, uncertainty and loss in a world that is always changing. We are not taught how to love ourselves. This is why, in his 30s, Lewis decided to start the School of Greatness, which seeks to find the answers to the major life questions he didn’t have the chance to explore when he was younger.  

Indeed, we all have a lot of exploring and healing to do. There are certain cultural and societal challenges that affect how we function as both children and adults that we must resolve in order to find the courage to “be” in a different way.  

If we don’t face our past, the shame of our traumas can hold us back, making it very hard for us to find the courage to change and be who we want to be. However, when we finally decide to face our past and start dealing with our traumas, our lives and relationships can transform in ways we never imagined possible.  

Healing is a journey that can  positively impact the people around us in addition to our own. But healing is not just about doing one thing. It is not a one-off event. Healing is, at its core, about constantly learning. It takes time. Life is always changing, which means our needs are always changing—the process of healing will change too. True healing means constantly evolving, trying new strategies and not being afraid to explore different things. 

As Lewis notes, we should all approach life with the attitude that we can learn from anything and anyone, and that there is nothing in life we have heard that we don’t need to hear again. We should constantly be in a process of growing, learning, applying and integrating. The wisest people recognize that they always need to learn more.  

We also should be careful of letting our anger about what has happened in the past take over our lives. Service in love is the greatest fuel for change, not anger. Anger, when left unmanaged, can explode and affect your wellbeing and relationships. Yes, you can’t change what happened to you, but you can change what happens in you. 

If you are battling to find healing, therapy is a great way to help you open up, feel and heal—with accountability. It is great way to move forward in life, especially if you feel held back by your past. But it is also important to remember thatdifferent types of therapy will work for different people at different stages in their life! 

We all need support at different times in our lives, and therapy and/or coaching are great ways to get this support! They help us see things in our lives that we may have never seen before, and they give us tools and ways of dealing with these challenges. This helps us moves through our issues in a healthy way as we seek peace and clarity. We shouldn’t be ashamed of asking for help, because it is foolish to think we can do everything on our own with all our blind spots and with so much to learn. Therapy is like having an emotional coach, helping you work towards your goals. 

If you want to learn more about Lewis Howes’ incredible story and the power of learning and growing, listen to my podcast (episode #309), and check out Lewis’ work. If you enjoy listening to my podcast, please consider leaving a 5-star review and subscribing. And keep sharing episodes with friends and family and on social media. (Don’t forget to tag me so I can see your posts!).   

To learn more about how to manage your mental health and help others, join me at our 7th Annual Mental Health Solutions Retreat, December 2-4, 2021! The core focus of this conference is to give you simple, practical, applicable, scalable, and scientific solutions to help you take back control of your mental health, help others, and make impactful changes in your community. You will also learn how to manage the day-to-day stressors of life as well as those acute stressors that blindside us. Our goal is to address your most pressing mental health concerns, help you find answers, and equip you with the knowledge and resources you need to make the change from a life of barely surviving to one where you are thriving. Register today at!  

This podcast is sponsored by: 

Your Memore, my favorite whole food powders! It is the easiest way to get the whole foods your brain and body need to function at their best. And my listeners can get up to 30% off their next order at  

NED. Like many people these days, I have been struggling with uncertainty: what does the future hold? What will tomorrow look like? Where will I be a year from now? What will the world look like? All these anxieties have made everyday activities like sleeping a challenge, which is why I have started using CBD to help support my mental health and brain detoxing. I have found that CBD is a great to help with sleep and reduce pain, anxiety and inflammation. NED produces some of the highest quality CBD available in the world, using Full Spectrum Hemp Oil products extracted from organically grown hemp plants, which are all sourced from an independent farmer named Jonathan in Paonia, CO. All the products that Ned offers are science-backed, nature-based solutions that provide an alternative to prescription and over-the-counter drugs. If you want to check out Ned and try their Full Spectrum Hemp Oil or Sleep Blend for yourself, we have a special offer for the Cleaning Up the Mental Mess audience. Go to or enter DRLEAF at checkout for 15% off your first one-time order or 20% off your first subscription order.   

Podcast Highlights

2:44, 5:15 Why Lewis Howes started The School of Greatness 

3:22 How Lewis Howes used sports to manage his emotions as a child 

7:44 Unlearning toxic cultural & social influences   

8:10 The relationship between healing & courage 

9:00 Why we need to face the past in order to move forward in life  

11:00 Healing involves constant learning—it is not a one-off event! 

12:10 The importance of connecting to our inner child 

13:10 Dealing with & managing childhood sexual abuse  

17:20 The destructive nature of unmanaged anger

22:00 You can’t change what happened to you, but you can change what happens in you 

22:45 We are wired for love!

26:40 How Lewis works on his own mental health & healing 

35:00 What happens in the brain when we deconstruct & reconstruct trauma 

42:00 Parenting, childhood trauma & mental health 

49:00 We all have a unique way of thinking that can activate the best in each other 

50:30 Gender differences & the mind: is there a relationship? 

56:00 How trauma & anxiety can affect sleep

57:20 The power of starting the day with appreciation & gratitude  

1:04:00 The power of therapy & why different types of therapy will work for different people  

1:13:30 The importance of seeking peace & clarity  

This podcast and blog is for educational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. We always encourage each person to make the decision that seems best for their situation with the guidance of a medical professional.   

Switch On Your Brain LLC. is providing this podcast as a public service. Reference to any specific viewpoint or entity does not constitute an endorsement or recommendation by our organization. The views expressed by guests are their own and their appearance on the program does not imply an endorsement of them or any entity they represent. If you have any questions about this disclaimer, please contact  

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