Finding the courage to face your faults

In this podcast (episode #556) and blog, I discuss how recognizing and embracing our faults is a powerful way of increasing our mental resilience and brain health.

As hard as it is, recognizing our own faults is a powerful way of developing mind management skills that will teach us how to be more self-aware so that we can better regulate the way that we show up in the world and how our thoughts and choices affect our wellbeing. 

To get comfortable with owning our faults, we need to: 

• Use self-compassion, not self-esteem, when acknowledging our faults. Research demonstrates that self-compassion helps us face and learn from our faults rather than self-esteem, which involves evaluations and comparisons to others, and tends to be more threatening when we fail. In fact, if we rely solely on self-esteem when we fail, it is more likely to lead to defensiveness and self-protection, and we will potentially miss the opportunity to learn and grow. Self-compassion, on the other hand, allows us to be kind to ourselves while acknowledging that we have room for improvement.
• Practice self-acceptance. Research shows that practicing self-acceptance can potentially help to reduce our probability of engaging in damaging behaviors like negative self-talk or toxic coping mechanisms. It also can increase our odds of working towards improving the fault and learning from our mistakes. Self-acceptance essentially means that we are telling ourselves that it’s okay to have a fault or fail, and that this doesn't mean that there is something intrinsically wrong with us.

• Be excited about finding the fault! When we fail, make a mistake or discover that we are doing something wrong, this means we have a chance to change a potentially damaging brain network and reduce inflammation in the brain. We have a chance to improve our mind and brain health!
• Develop a healthy coping mechanism. No one likes to be told they are doing something wrong or hurting other people, so it is important that when we hear a critique of our choices or behavior, we have a healthy way of coping with this criticism. To help with this, think of when someone's faults and mistakes have impacted you and how you needed to discuss this with them. Think of how it helped you when they listened to you and acknowledged their fault and its impact on you—these memories will make it easier for you to deal with what someone says when they speak to you about a potentially damaging behavior. 

It is important to remember that faults become part of our brain wiring and mind networks if we try to ignore or suppress them, potentially causing inflammation and impacting our wellbeing. This is why it is so important that we teach ourselves how to embrace our mistakes and learn from them, rewiring them into something new that improves our brain health instead! 

For more on learning from your faults, listen to my podcast (episode #556). If you enjoy listening to my podcast, please consider leaving a 5-star review and subscribing. And keep sharing episodes with friends and family and on social media. (Don’t forget to tag me so I can see your posts!).       

This podcast is sponsored by: 

AquaTru. Staying hydrated is so important for our brain and body health, but remembering to drink enough water during the day can be a challenge! Indeed, I’m always looking for ways to make drinking more water easier, so I don’t even have to think about it. I also want to make sure the water I am drinking is truly good for my brain and body. According to extensive research by the Environmental Working Group, 3 out of 4 homes in America have harmful contaminants in its tap water! That’s why you’ve got to check out AquaTru. AquaTru purifiers use a 4-stage reverse osmosis purification process, and their countertop purifiers work with NO installation or plumbing. It removes 15x more contaminants than ordinary pitcher filters and are specifically designed to combat chemicals like PFAS in your water supply. PFAS are found in almost 45% of US tap water and I’m grateful that AquaTru is certified to remove these contaminants. And they have water purifiers to fit every type of home, from installation-free countertop purifiers to higher capacity under sink options. They even have a wifi-connected purifier and mineral boost options! Best of all, the water tastes fantastic and you don’t have to worry about PFAS or other harmful contaminants. It’s even portable, making it perfect for renters or college dorms. In addition to drinking water, you can use it for your coffee, tea, and all your cooking needs from boiling pasta or veggies to making stocks and soups. AquaTru comes with a 30-day Money-Back Guarantee and even makes a great gift! Today my listeners can receive 20% OFF any AquaTru purifier! Just go to AquaTru.com  and enter code DRLEAF at checkout.   

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Podcast Highlights

2:40 How recognizing our faults improves brain health & relationships 

3:50, 8:43 Self-compassion versus self-esteem 

12:15 The importance of self-acceptance 

14:53 Why we should be excited when we discover a fault! 

23:33 Developing healthy coping mechanisms 

This podcast and blog are for educational purposes only and are not intended as medical advice. We always encourage each person to make the decision that seems best for their situation with the guidance of a medical professional.