In this podcast (episode #317) and blog, I talk to Harma Hartouni, a successful author, entrepreneur and businessman, about managing tragedy, how to deal with rejection and isolation, the key mindsets to overcoming tough times, and more!
In his amazing book Getting Back Up, Harma talks about how a major car accident when he was young was a turning point in his life. After months of recovery, he decided to move to the US. There he struggled with his own identity and the cultural and religious backlash to his sexuality, all while working his way up in the real estate business.
Through his struggles, Harma learnt some important life lessons, including:
-We all have two lives; the second one starts when we realize we only have one life.
-If you die tomorrow, can you say you have done everything you want until now?
-When you don’t know that you don’t know, it is very hard to change anything. Being open to learning is key.
-When you are struggling to let go of something, have a 5-minute funeral: do what you need to move on in 5 minutes. Accept, don’t deny your loss, then find a way to move on…to move from what has happened to you to changing what happens in you.
-You can change how what has happened to you plays out in your future.
-If you have to deal with something, run toward it, not away from it. Don’t leave it and let it fester. Focus on the solution; don’t just talk about what happened or pretend it doesn’t exist.
-If someone questions your choices, just say “I will find out and let you know.” Don’t let naysayers dominate your life.
-Don’t seek out wealth for its own sake. Aim to be successful because of the journey: where will your hard work take you? How can you change other people’s lives? Success and money are not the same thing.
-Taking care of your own health and well-being is a good kind of “selfish”. You can’t truly help others if you don’t help yourself. This cab actually help you become more, not less, empathetic.
For more on overcoming tragedy and improving your mental health, listen to my podcast with Harma (episode #317), and check out his book. If you enjoy listening to my podcast, please consider leaving a 5-star review and subscribing. And keep sharing episodes with friends and family and on social media. (Don’t forget to tag me so I can see your posts!).
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1:58 Harma’s incredible story
5:00 How a car accident changed Harma’s life
8:30 How Harma struggled with his identity
17:00 The power of love & forgiveness
21:00 The 5-minute funeral: what is it & why is it good for your mental health?
27:10 How to deal with regret & isolation
28:40, 31:20 Taking risks is not always a bad thing!
29:00 The power of saying “no”
32:00 The difference between the “good selfish” & the “bad selfish”
39:20 The importance of creating an environment that allows for mistakes
40:00 The difference managing & leading
This podcast and blog is for educational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. We always encourage each person to make the decision that seems best for their situation with the guidance of a medical professional.
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