You picture the new job, the move, the relationship working out, and for a few minutes it feels like it already happened. Then the week ends, and nothing has changed.

“Delulu is the solulu” is Gen Z’s playful way of saying believe it before there’s any evidence. On this week’s podcast, my daughter Dominique and I talk about where the phrase came from, why I love a little delulu, and when it starts to hold you back.

A little delulu can get you moving

When my husband Mac missed the lottery by one number, I let myself imagine what we’d do with the money. It was completely unrealistic, and it was wonderful. A few minutes of fun and joy like that is good for your mind and body.

A dream can also push you to try something you’d otherwise talk yourself out of. Dominique says people thought she was a little delusional when she started a long-distance relationship between Paris and Israel. She tried anyway, and now she’s living between Paris and Tel Aviv. Think of delulu as the rocket launch. It gets you off the ground.

Why just picturing it can backfire

NYU psychologist Gabriele Oettingen has spent years studying positive fantasies. In one of her studies, people who imagined a great week ahead felt less energized, and a week later they felt they’d accomplished less.

When a fantasy lets you feel like you’ve already reached the goal, you relax and your effort drops. And if the dream doesn’t happen, the disappointment is still waiting for you.

Signs you’re a little too delulu

Here is what to watch out for: You’re talking more than you’re doing. You jump from one dream to the next. You miss red flags in dating or business because the fantasy feels so good. And when it doesn’t work out, you blame yourself: “What’s wrong with me? Everyone else is doing it.”

Turn the dream into a plan

A fantasy that stays in your conscious mind builds a weak network in the brain that loops and doesn’t grow. When you ask, “How can I make this happen?” you connect with your nonconscious mind and build a network that grows with what’s actually happening in your life.

Oettingen’s WOOP method is a great way to start: name your Wish, picture the best Outcome, face the Obstacle, and make a Plan. In the Neurocycle, WOOP makes a great Active Reach. Dominique also likes to type her idea into an AI chatbot and ask, “What could go wrong?”

So have your delulu, please. Just give it a plan-a-lulu.