You start ten things and finish none. You lose focus in every meeting. Then a one-minute video describes your experience and calls it ADHD, and suddenly it feels like an answer.

In this week’s episode, my daughter Dominique and I talk about why adult ADHD diagnoses are rising, especially in women, and what a label can and can’t tell you.

The recognition is real

For decades, ADHD was seen as something hyperactive little boys had. Quieter, more inattentive girls slipped through. Now many women are recognizing themselves in their thirties and forties, often after a big life change. It can feel amazing to finally have a name for something that has felt so big for so long.

A description of how you’re showing up

There’s no single biological test for ADHD. A diagnosis rests on a checklist and clinical judgment, which is why I see ADHD as a description of how you’re showing up. What you’re going through is very real, and a label doesn’t make it more valid. Understanding your story does. Trauma, too little sleep, and constantly pushing your own needs aside can all show up as scattered focus.

Get curious for seven days

Before you ask, “Do I have ADHD?”, ask, “What has my life been asking of me, and for how long?” Then, for seven days, note when your attention is at its worst and when it’s at its best, and what was going on around both. By the end of the week, you’ll start to see a pattern, and patterns give you data you can take to a mental health professional.

Your brain can change

What you eat and how much you scroll shape your attention too. An odd bag of Doritos won’t cause ADHD. Consistent patterns are what matter. And if you’re on medication, please don’t change anything without your doctor. Just learn about what you’re taking.

And be kind to yourself. You’re not careless, and you’re not a failure. Your brain is plastic, and how you direct your attention changes it.